I’m surprised you spelled most of those words correctly.

Don’t give terrorist ideas on how to stop our freedom planes.

Not all movies are Hollywood productions. Take the Blair Witch for example, they never found those kids. Recently the family went looking for her and some of those people vanished also. It’s crazy how the Government hasn’t done anything about the Blair Witch considering how many she’s killed ... 

bridges cant melt steel beams!

...and a few hours later, a completely separate hut across the river will also collapse.

Throw some jet fuel on it.

Threw up a little inside my mouth...

Kinda like buying a new car, finding out it’s been recalled because the brakes fail, and saying “Nope, I’m keeping it cuz’ I really like the radio.”

Won’t they be “hot, dead hands?”

Don’t you mean the Mustang of Minivans?

My refrigerator died this weekend. I sought comfort in the toaster and found him to be far more warm.

Today is the proudest day of my life. I successfully took a picture of me grabbing myself by the pussy

Religious organization campaigning against science and technology? Must be Tuesday.

I love how the two people in back seat a jockeying for time holding the selfie stick. Obviously, each second they hold it makes them even cooler than they already are.

But I’m three seconds quicker now!

It’s still a perfectly good working camera that was still utterly wasted by these morons.

#istandwithkristen

Ugh -1 for the false sense of security provided by a “spectator area”. In my opinion if you’re on the outside of a turn then you’re never really safe, even if there’s a railing or a crash fence/net, or whatever. There wasn’t even THAT here! Hay bails??? Come on...

I just fell in love with you for that one sentence:

No, he’s not at fault. Fuck those people that want to cut in line, especially asshats that can’t be courteous enough to use a blinker. I get it, people sometimes get lost or don’t quite know where they’re going... happens to the best of us. You want in front of me, use the damn blinker. I can’t read minds and…