You mean the 401ks they gave us as consolation prizes for killing off our pensions, the ones where we get to put whatever scraps we have leftover after our continuously increasing expenses - after almost a generation nearly stagnant wages - instead of having our employers fund our retirement?

I expect the first night will leave Biden, Sanders and Harris still standing, and the second will leave Warren, Buttigieg...and maybe Castro or O’Rourke as the viable candidates. And then we’ll get the real primary debate in the second round, once the initial 20 person free-for-all gets pared down to 5 or 6 contenders…

In related news, SHS will be replaced by a mass of cockroaches that shape themselves into horribly inaccurate written answers to questions from the WH press corps, with occasional obscenities and threats of bodily harm mixed in there.

The expectations are different when you’re auditioning to be the lead character instead of just the sidekick. 

On one hand, Congress dancing around the Hyde Amendment is disingenuous and does nothing to stem the tide of draconian state abortion legislation. On the other...they do have a point in that it could jam up efforts to get the budget passed and keep the federal government’s finances working on whatever passes for…

Shit like this makes me really wish I had made different career choices, and had a marketable enough trade or profession to have a snowball’s chance in hell of immigrating to another industrialized country that doesn’t collectively have its head up its ass.

Basic media literacy really should be a required course in American high schools.

Now, if only they would put out another single-player non-MMO Elder Scrolls game...

Yeah, I completely get that the military treats female service members horribly, and that sexual assault is a massive issue there. But at first glance, those numbers make joining the army sound like a four-year sentence at the state penitentiary.

If the exploration of Mars was legitimately made the centerpiece of a next-gen moonshot program, and was part of a well-funded and rational effort to bring about another round of technological innovations like the original space race did during the Cold War...I would dare say it could be Trump’s “trip to China” or…

I completely understand big pharma’s resistance to the idea of single payer as a threat to their obscene profitability, and I get that rich folks don’t want to pay more taxes (even if it doesn’t appreciably impact the scale of their wealth). They’re both awful groups of people, but logically consistent.

The eventual approval of a conservative justice was a forgone conclusion. Whether or not to make the process so toxic and hateful that would shatter the reputation and personal life of any nominee that wasn’t an absolute fucking saint was still in the Democrats’ hands.

Yeah...unless you luck into your dream job, I’m pretty sure that definition of “burnout” is pretty much just the description of life as an adult.

It would thrill me to no end if Mackenzie Bezos used ~$1b of her $37b divorce settlement to pay off Floridian ex-cons’ fines/fees/judgements and likely flip Florida into a blue state. She wouldn’t miss it, and it would do a lot of people a lot of good.

Let’s be honest - nobody’s voting for Biden for his policy chops. I wouldn’t be remotely surprised if his environmental policy was slapped together by a couple of interns over the Memorial Day weekend, and I’d be even less surprised if Uncle Joe asked the prettier of the two to sit on his lap and go over the executive…

At 25 cups of coffee a day, the sleep deprivation will kill you long before any cardiovascular issues catch up with you. 

“I was an artillery officer, and we fired hundreds of rounds into Fallujah, killed probably hundreds of civilians, if not scores, if not hundreds of civilians,” Hunter says. “Probably killed women and children, if there were any left in the city when we invaded. So do I get judged, too?”

We so need it for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. 

I’m pretty sure Sandy Hook was the point of no return for the issue of gun violence. If a couple dozen little kids getting gunned down in their own elementary school doesn’t lead the country to collectively admit that we have a problem and make changes to keep it from happening again...absolutely nothing will.

Yeah, 2020 isn’t going to be about selling undecided/independent voters on your technical qualifications and your watered down version of moderately progressive ideas. Even if you wanted to, there aren’t enough of those voters in swing states to make that strategy worthwhile.