February release? Yeah, that’s all I need to know.

A recent undated picture of the suspect:

The NFL’s PR team will be faxing over a job offer.

My favorite part of the new NFL is how the announcers will discuss, at length along with telestrater assisted replay to diagnose an injury: collarbone? Dislocated shoulder? How about what ligament it was in the knee?

Guy gets a concussion? “Looks a little shaken up on the play.”

Tom, maybe you didn’t watch the video, but the Ravens were offsides. It’s a free play, and the results count only if the Rams want them to — the Rams accepted the penalty, so nothing that happened the last play actually happened. No play, no concussion. Case closed.

It’s weird how our leading voice in medicine seems uneducated in this area.

It’s not the most concise sentence ever written, but there’s nothing grammatically wrong with it.

It's not your fault.

maybe he didn’t apply to west point because he thought it was mainly used as grain storage?

I made a mistake in the state (because Kansas City is not in Kansas) and want to let everyone know that if there’s a Dearborn in Kansas, the residents don’t deserve the criticism.

Dear Entire Town of Dearborn, Kansas,

Whatever his motive, he may have saved someone's life - including the customers'. As for overserving, let's assume the customers sat there for four hours of trivia, drinking watery, cut-rate margaritas. That means they got 1.5 drinks per hour worth of alcohol if they even got a full serving in those icy sugar bombs,…

I love the idea that he wasn’t supposed to call the police on people about to endanger those around them.

The first bullet point in the ACC’s statement says the runner’s knee is down and the play — and game — should have ended there. No need to come back and run a play. The ACC has in effect said this victory belongs to Duke but it will not take the action to correct that.

If that’s the case, then what is even the point…

If you think a minor traffic infraction remotely justifies attempted murder: Fuck You.

“Look, I love babies.” It’s like “I have black friends” for kids.

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. I’ll take my baby wherever the fuck I want. You’re not a feminist. You’re a close-minded advocated for single childless women. Fuck you.

... the thing that saddens me the most because in a few generations the Huxtables will have been just a fairytale.

But we don’t need unions or collective bargaining or wage laws because each individual server can just use the vast power and leverage they hold to stop the managers from doing this sort of thing. Also I have a magic unicorn rabbit that shits skittles.