“The First Lady turned to the children and in a sweet but somber tone began, ‘I truly understand your pain. Day after day, trapped. You don’t know who you can talk to or who around you actually cares. Even with all the fancy toys,’ as she gestured to some games and potato chips the children had scattered around their…

Give it a rest already. Harry’s costume choice was certainly ill-advised, but if we’re going to harp on people for the rest of their lives over dumb things they did when they were in their late teens or early twenties, how is anybody ever supposed to show that they have matured and changed?

Everything’s better with Bill Hader in it.

Yeah, I also read it the way she seems to have intended. People need to calm down.

I went to Trump Steaks!

When one or more of these turds finally get arrested, the day of the perp walk will become an official holiday in my life. I will celebrate it every year. If one of them actually goes to jail, it will be a week-long Risky Business-style rager, complete with irresponsible binge drinking and 80s and 90s dance music on a…

I think we should all evaluate others based on their interactions in elementary school. It is the only real assessment of someone’s character.

They should sue the state of Florida instead, for allowing guns to be so easily accessible.

I could see him sitting on the bed, arms crossed, and pouting with an unzipped and half-filled Dora the Explorer carry-on the floor.

John Kelly is gently asking him to pack using his Sean Hannity plush toy.

Seriously! When I was 15 I thought I deserved out too. Now that I’m in my 30s, I’m endlessly wishing I could just go home and be taken care of.

Just set it in working class Boston and name them the O’Connors.

John Goodman marries Phylicia Rashad after both of their spouses die in explosions. The Conner and Huxtable families merge Brady Bunch style.

Your faith in American justice is adorable.

I won’t believe it’s her until I see her holding up a newspaper with today’s date.

but what do I know?

I absolutely love April Ryan. She is doing what every single one of the members of the non propoganda media needs to do to these schmoes. Stand up and swing hard for the fences. Love watching her hit doubles all day long off Aunt Lydia.

It might be an awkward thing to say, but is not being attracted to an ethnicity really racism? Do we get to decide who we’re attracted to?

I don’t think Cross has a “race issue.” He said something stupid and insensitive like a decade ago.

Very insulting given how many actual goth bands they could have chosen songs from.

gotta reward the real fans who read to the bottom with SOMETHING