At the same time, Rove was called out on-air for being delusional on FOX.

The “I’m an out-of-control narcissist” joke is less funny in 2017 than it might have been in the past.

Alfalfas don’t compare themselves with Buckwheats.

whoosh

Why were the Raptors trying to score with 10 seconds left? They were down 15. Dribble it out. You’re going to lose anyway. But somehow losing by 17 is worse than losing by 15? How about not getting your ass beat in the first place?

...and instead decided to use tax dollars for public safety, transportation and affordable housing. A rare time to be proud of that city.

Goddammit NBA, let me enjoy a few more years before you turn into fucking MLB and I have to start watching soccer or some shit.

“There’s never been a better time to ‘Steal the Show’ than with this heavily discounted AFC South matchup that will help determine the #1 overall pick in May’s NFL draft. Enter code ‘SAVAGEBORTLES’ at checkout.”

The absolute 100% worst thing about Marchand isn’t even his dirty/cheap play, it’s how much of a fucking whiner he is. Even on this, the most obvious and clear of slashes/spears right between the legs in retaliation for a cross check and right in front of a ref, Marchand literally stays behind the play and skates…

This forever

The KKK never really took off in Arizona as it’s a lot of letters to remember.

You’re not going to like our NYPD Shoe sketch... it’s pretty much the same thing.

“I thought heptathletes couldn’t have babies because they were born with both parts?” - Emmitt Smith

Aw man, is Kinja Deals going to try to snooker me into buying a December Jaguars-Texans clusterfuck?

Arguably the most entertaining part of this game was watching the Everton back four (and eventually back five once Pennington came on) all take turns absolutely screaming at Lukaku for his positioning upfield and/or inability to hold the ball and take up enough time to give them a breather.

Now for your intensive broadcaster training course:

That Bill Simmons entry was cringeworthy, even by his “standards”.

Am I just missing sarcasm here? Otherwise, your math is brutal.

A more accurate recap than you’ll see anywhere else. That game was pure trash, and this is how it should be remembered.