“a 9 to 5 job where I get treated like a human, at this point.”

PSA: For $500,000 you can treat me as sub-human as you want.

Every time I see his twitter header image it makes me think of:

Alternates:

Yes, clearly a superior focus on fundamentals by the team that missed four straight free throws.

I have reservations about starring your post.

The government was going to just ask for the money back but didn’t want to be seen as....um.... you know what- forget it.

If you have a child with a severe peanut allergy, THE PARENT should have an epi pen. Think about it, would you expect the airline to have a dispensary and pharmacist/nurse on every flight to cover every sickness/disease? Your plane ticket would be $10,000.

yeah but how many touchdowns is he going to score this year?

Oh wild. Atlanta is having problems with time management. You don’t say?

I can’t take credit for this, Matt Ufford on twitter can. I’m stupid and can’t link tweets.

You either retire a hero, or play long enough to see yourself become a shitty statue.

1) No, there was not. Read the article at the link above. That question is answered there, along with the question, “What did that goalie’s dad say to him when he heard the news?”

I am so fucking drunk right now.

Okay. Other than Liverpool fans.

Neil Taylor is a hack, and Villa are garbage.

Wife: “How was your day, Joey?”

Oh sure everything looks bad if you remember it!

Irvin’s lawyer told TMZ that these latest allegations are completely false: “You expect the public to believe that Michael Irvin had drugs and *gave* them to another person rather than use them all himself?”

Is it really priceless when it’s insured for a specific value?