Why are his only party guests two sad looking women who don't seem to want to stand near him?

STEP UP YOUR GAME CROCODUCK!

Da Payless ShoeSource

Joker, we know who you are.

Scalia is Scalia.

My name is Dave and, uh, I like to party.

Their Spring Break music video from last year is one of my favorite things that exists. Truly.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GROUND!

Did he, though? I don't remember that.

1998 called. It wants it's search engine back.

This whole story would be so much better if Diddy had attacked the guy with kettle chips…

At least up-downs makes sense in relation to the physical movement you do. Burpee is just the stupid guy's name who "invented" them.

Could've sent him a basket of poison muffins.

ZING!

No doubt. My guess is that all slaves had tougher lives than their oppressors. Then again, that's just conjecture on my part. We can never REALLY know*, can we?

I would sign that petition.

Yeah, poor guy. He had it real tough. Not as tough as his slaves, but, you know…..tough.

DANGLED OFF A HOTEL BALCONY'D!

Oh jeez, that is my absolute favorite.

We're cool.