My husband's mom was what they called a "barfly" back in the day who was always in between marriages. Many of his memories from childhood involve her saying, "Kids, I'm going to find you a new dad tonight." She would then go to her usual bar, and leave them in the arcade next door. Needless to say, all of her husbands…

[image of actual double beard]

This image appeared when I googled "double beard." Its not exactly what a closeted homosexual would be looking for.

Its pretty normal here to bring kids into a pub. Your parents watch you, you eat a snack or get some tea or whatever and they don't really get that drunk. They are in your neighbourhood so you just walk home after. But this is super weird. I guess bars are only alcohol?

Can Double Beard be a Double Jeopardy straight to Lifetime sequel, except starring Winona Judd instead of Ashley Judd?

JESUS. What the hell has to go through your mind to realize that driving home drunk is irresponsible but think it's fine to have a ten year old drive?

"I'm not gay. Here's how straight I am, I'm boning TWO WOMEN." - Donald Sterling, apparently?

Well, it didn't start out really pretty.

Man, I thought we were done with these assholes!

I never drove home, but I have many stories of being put to sleep, alone, in a car so my parents could drink. The highlight of these is the one time I was 7 and some guys broke the car window to try to steal the car with me in it, and I woke up with the broken glass raining on me. Luckily, they ran off rather than…

My dad would just take a cab home, ring our doorbell in the middle of the night repeatedly while standing on the front steps holding onto the cabby, throw up on the cabby at the moment I opened the door, insist I raid my little sister's piggybank to pay the cabby, and then force me to drag him down the hallway to to…

Yeah, given that he is widely known to have been heavy into drugs and arrested a few times in the 90's, I'm not sure pulling the celebrity card was going to help him there. Secondary to the fact that no one remembers who Scott Weiland is. :-/

woulda helped him maybe 15 years ago when that band woulda

"I'm Scott Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots" — the most damning evidence of all.

It makes him xenophobic.

Sadly, if the kids had decided to take the car for a drive, they still would have been safer than with their drunkard father.

Right? If you lived in the country and noticed every time you saw a horse dick, well, you'd spend all day noticing horse dick.

I will devour this like so much maple sugar snow candy.

I'm picturing them dancing their way off into the sunset. Waka Waka is playing in the background.