I would read a website called “The Heat Check Times,” but not one just called “The Heat Check,” so I’m not here to judge anyone’s odd referential preference, but Moby Dick is too long.

You shut your whore mouth the Sanchize is a national treasure.

#freematiastesti

Ordinarily, I find soccerthusiast’s use of “audacious, magnificent, etc.” to be annoying, un-subtle code for “I once received a mildly enthusiastic hand job from a Belgian girl during my semester abroad and never really got over it” but holy shit is that ever an audacious, magnificent strike.

I bet you're fun at parties.

Johnny Damon’s mom is a Thai immigrant. What the blue fuck is going on?

Wait. The whole pizza? Folded and consumed as a taco? Are you me?

This is perfect.

Living free agency life to it’s fullest.

Living life to it’s fullest.

Um . . .

On a spectacular run recently, Rom. Maybe they’ll fire Samer and Redford and hire you.

Binge-drinking culture, expectations for single, twenty-something women in gentrifying communities socially, and something about kava.

What’s wrong with core work and high quality yogurt?

The spreadsheet admission is mildly illuminating, since your prose is certainly robotic, Kevin. But your grammar? All too human.

Be dumber. Or be bros with SVP. Both?

Plus, in terms of defending the Knibb High thinclads, Steph is 6'3" which is tiny by NBA standards but leaves him towering over a lot of high school players. I’m 6'3" and I was a center at my (admittedly tiny) high school.

I hope you get a rash, lawyer.

Give me Danny Espinosa or give me death.

He didn’t “leave hitched,” Patrick. He left engaged. Precision and clarity with language are your JOB, motherfucker. Be better at it, for fook’s sake.