Even the clutch pedal has rust on it. 

That idiot is the author...

Blasphemer! There are countless special Jeeps.

And trust me when I say, this is definitely a junkyard-grade Jeep at this point.

I wonder why vehicles built in the Rust Belt don’t resist rust better.

It’s not a 1969 Mustang Mach 1 or something where anyone would care about matching numbers. Good lord. Grab the transmission, slave cylinder, pedals, etc and send this thing to the junkyard.

I feel like these articles are Tracy’s subconscious crying out for an intervention. Please, I can’t stop myself, would you look at the rust, and how rare it is, how could I NOT take it home? 

Can I give you a word of advice? First of all, as much as you love this Jeep, its gone. As in there is no way I would trust driving that thing at freeway speeds without fear of a major structural failure. So let it go.

We know you already trailered this back to your parking lot house. Why even try to tease us?

Give it a bath and put it on BaT, I’m sure some fucking idiot will pay way too much for it.

If they said he was trying to summon demons from the underground to push a diet pill pyramid scheme I would’ve believed that also.

Add-on to this, this dude knew the police didn’t like him after that trial. He’s gonna carry a gun and deal drugs right in front of his house less than a week after the trial wrapped up?

8) Nobody deals drugs out of a building where a cop is known to live.

7. No one involved in a situation like that ever drops their boy off at the ER with a GSW and is like “We out”.

Reverse Vampires, out in the daylight, because they are from Tan-sylvania.

This shit doesn’t just smell fishy, it smells like a goddamn cannery. In one fell swoop, the Dallas PD gets to murder a key witness, set up a potential retrial for Killer Becky with the Elmer Fudd face and paint negroes as stupid.

This sounds like a bad episode of 21 Jump Street. I mean they all sucked once Johnny Depp left. I mean this weed must’ve been so good that it made you shit diamonds. Again how dumb do they think we are? Yeah we need to drive four hours to get this weed because there is no one in Louisiana that has good stuff.

It would have been more believable if they’d just blamed the Reverse Vampires!