I propose a new derogatory word: thickebag. Please feel free to use in a sentence.

Why in the world are we hating on/gossiping about a child, Jezebel? Good God.

The quick wit we've come to expect from Honey Boo Boo

Exercise is not an effective way to lose weight. The only effective way is calorie restriction. I'm not suggesting you restrict calories, though, in my opinion for most people it would make far more sense to just focus on living a healthy lifestyle, exercising regularly, and say fuck what the scale says.

When I got married, I saved so much money because most of my friends are professional assassins, so they volunteered their services to kill the guests as a wedding present. Also I made my own poison crystal necklace from upcycled thrift store jewelry, the DJ had 'The Rains of Castamere' on his iPod shuffle, and the…

Lets be honest, the only thing that matters is the pie.

True, wolf sanctuaries are in dire need of funding.

I think that if you are an alum, the strongest thing that you can do is to not donate to your school until they issue some sort of apology statement and a complete overhaul of how they handle sexual assaults on campus (and convince your fellow alums to do so as well). A lot of larger colleges have local clubs (I know…

You know what would be absolutely terrifying to a cat? Taking them to a stadium full of people to throw a ball.

I mean, really, this cat saves a kid's life (or at least his leg) and in return she gets a lifetime of traumatizing gigs.

Yes! I teach at a university, yet I constantly have the dream of having to take a final exam after having skipped all the classes. It's almost always a math class, something I absolutely cannot fake.

Am I the only one who thinks the cats actions were more of a "no one can hurt MY humans but me!"

I agree with you but the opportunity to brag about my cat might be the one exception.

I have no desire to ever be on a morning television show, for any reason. I guess I am in the minority.

My mom was the youth group coordinator at our church when I was a teenager. Some of the kids in the group sang at the mass and one of them, who had a different sense of style, wore long black gloves. There was a big meeting held with the parish council and my mom and they said that they wanted my mom to do something…

Well, as long as they're keeping the graffiti under control, order will reign.

Well done, children. You have officially melted my cynical heart for the day.

[Citation needed]

She got three rice cookers for her shower, maybe I'll snatch one when no one's looking!