Note: Not beloved.

The 1980’s: When a 30-year-old woman is made up to look like a 65-year-old drag queen.

It’s not like he’s known for being a thespian, either.

And they can always blame affluenza and get away with it.

She needs a better depilatory.

Or when they know they’re handsome, so they always go all the way back to douche.

I’m going with nose job/cheek implant/boob job.

“It tastes like possum, y’all,” said Britney Spears.

#blessed

In short: a bunch of hot teens save the world with big guns and kicking/punching.

And 50 Shades is probably funnier than this. Unintentionally, of course.

“You can’t spell ass without class, or T&A without tact.” Steve Hirsch, Vivid Entertainment.

A legacy, indeed.

I hope he announces my name for Miss Universe next year!

I had it, too! And I’m a guy. Don’t judge me.

Abort the Bieber. Please, dahling. #havingamoment

Greed? Of course. She’s gotta work it like the rent is due.

And she ain’t got time for coat check either.

Miss Piggy?

Hmmm, time for the crisis management PR firm to hire a PR firm for crisis management.