For the love of god children, if you want to have casual sex, have all the casual sex. It it leaves you feeling “emotionally hollow”, you dont massively enjoy it, and you actually care about “losing” the person who’s tinder messaging you for a fuck?

I love she-devil. i watched it recently and it’s aged really well (fashion notwithstanding) compared to most movies of the same era. i wish hollywood would revive the mini-genre of female empowerment/revenge films.

How to start your day like Mocena:

Awesome advice, seriously. I usually start my mornings with a large glass of water to try and clear my head from all of the alcohol from the night before.

I’m at a water park right now (Summer in Florida, what can you do) and really, 1% (or fewer even) people here have the “ideal beach body”. The rest of us though also exist, have paid money to be here and deserve to have as much fun as anyone else, regardless of how gross we look. Fuck that shit, everyone has the right…

Learning to value physical comfort over hiding “shameful” parts of my body was one of the most freeing things I ever did. I didn’t swim for years because I thought I was too fat to appear in a bathing suit, and figuring out that it didn’t fucking matter, that the world would not end if I didn’t shield it from my…

Arm flab in summer is my go-to accessory.

Where are the articles questioning all the dudes in tank tops with gross shoulder hair?

It continues to amaze me that some customers think that people who professionally make coffee drinks don’t know how to make coffee drinks. Like a barista doesn’t know how to make a cappuccino?

“Oh for fuck’s sake! Stop trying to make your boring ass babies cool with my last name.”

I can’t tell you how many times boogiefeminists from Planned Parenthood jumped out of my closet and demanded I abort my pregnancy so they could turn a profit. “Those donations you give us just aren’t enough,” they said. “We’ve come for your wanted pregnancy. GIVE US THE FEEEEEEETUSSSSSSSS. The money must flow.”

Ah yes, these two plump hens need to drop 20-30 lbs post haste.

If you like that kind of venue, my personal favorite is the Haiku Mill on Maui:

Having sex with someone below the age of consent is a “bad choice”. What she did was murder. That goes beyond “bad choice” into the realm of “I am a criminal knowingly performing criminal actions”.

Wouldn’t want to be uncomfortable for a brief period of time. Should just murder an infant. Totally saved face right there.

According to that argument, any woman with limited access to resources would be justified to kill her child. Furthermore, this justifies a man with limited resources to do something horrible to his wife or girlfriend.

Is it awful that I’m like “oh thank heaven” 90% because yesss this is great for people and celiac sucks balls, and 10% because I’m like “yessss now we have fewer difficulties in finding a place all my friends can eat food together”

“Try a muffin dropped on the ground.”

EVIL PILLOWS!