I LOVE bars. RX bars are my current obsession. The salted chocolate one is divine. 

I did not watch the game HOWEVER I did see one of the first rounds of commercials. And who do I see but Steve Carrel looking like an utterly bone-able silver fox.

When you feel threatened because other people do your workout a little bit differently, gotta do something to take them down a peg!

I’d make it about 1000 feet before hitting black ice and probably breaking myself. 

I’ve been interval running on a treadmill for over ten years. FINALLY I AM TRENDY!

The girl who bullied me was two years older than me and had about five inches and 45 pounds on me. And a group of friends the same size. There was literally no way I was taking her without ending up beaten within an inch of my life. I know this would have happened because I watched it happen to one of my friends. 

THIS IS THE DAY WE WILL SHINE!

I had norovirus, then my kid had norovirus and then I found out I need gum surgery. It was also my birthday, the day I had the worst of the norovirus.

I bet he makes some money and unloads the dishwasher twice a week. Maybe takes out the trash too. 

My kid LOVES the boomerang song. She’s nearly 5, so it’s all we know of her. I always thought it was a catchy, annoying, harmless song. How wrong I was.

It makes me want to heave now lmao but at the time it was AMAZING.

I ate a bowl of mayonnaise two weeks before I gave birth. I topped it with a pour of warmed tartar sauce and ate it with a spoon like ice cream. I used an ice cream scooper to dole out the mayo. It was one of the best tasting things I have ever eaten.

This is a painfully idealistic, out of touch view on how men used to be.

Or they noticed and just ignored it and agreed to play dumb.

It is. We have far fewer children than we used to. 

Christmas food is the best. Tamales. Chinese take out. Thanksgiving dinner part 2. Delicious glazed hams. Chocolates. Cookies of all kinds. Festive cocktails. Cheeses.

My grandmother hd passed away nearly a year before this happened. We are at my dads sisters home the weekend before Christmas. Everyone was exchanging gifts when my creepy, alcoholic, emotionally unstable Uncle disappears after telling us all he had a surprise. He gets his kids to hand us all a little box. We open our…

Legos are INSANELY expensive. And they get everywhere and injure you. 

Cops do not care when you are asking for help and your spouse is beating you.

I did awful in hs and killed it in college. Everyone assumed I was stupid. No. I hated hs. I have two degrees and am doing far better in life than pretty much everyone who assumed I’d amount to nothing.