I imitate my husband the exact same way, so this could be some kind of universal wife thing.

Also, my greatest fear as a parent, by far: Lice.

WE FOUND THE UNICORN

I'm gonna feel reaaaalllllly stupid if this spreads right after I spent a good 1/2 hour convincing my paranoid cousin that our westernized medicine, hygiene habits and social infrastructure would not support an ebola outbreak here in the US.

If TLC weren't already dead to me after Honey BooBoo, Long Island Medium, and John and Kate they'd definitely be dead to me over the Duggars.

I will hate TLC forever for giving these people a platform to spew their bullshit everywhere.

Every night has been a game of what has Sadie hidden in my bed. Grossest haul: several used pads and a ball of lint. Messiest haul: several plastic containers of pears.

My dog will open and then consume the peanut butter jar. Nope, that is not wrong- she eats the peanut butter and then the jar. For some reason she never eats the lid though.

Hipster Level: you've probably never heard of this level.

My dog went into the kitchen once, pulled out an empty chili container from the trash and brought it back to us. She plopped down in front of us and started to work on licking out the chili leavings. Like "HOW YOU GUYS DOIN'; I GOT CHILI." When we tried to take it from her she was like "EXCUSE ME, ASSHOLES THAT IS…

I was going to give "thug" a pass but then started throwing things when I got to "vegan." Cheese or GTFO.

incorrect. you cannot make lasagna without cheese, and those sad, pale things they call 'vegan cheese' are unworthy of mention.

A part of me hoped against hope that they would maybe be a multi ethnic group of friends rather than a real estate stock photo.

I was so drunk and it was such an amazing speech. Laura (Beck) was there and every time I was about to stop, she kept motioning for me to go on and I was laughing and reciting the lyrics to "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman." GOD, BEST WEDDING EVER.