My point was that the existence of a sonogram showing she was pregnant doesn't in any way prove she had an abortion. She may have, or may not have. Either way, Mayweather's a dick of the highest order.

I approach food storage with all the near pathological carelessness of a teenage boy. It saves on worrying, unnecessary trips to the fridge, and I don't get food poisoning (although eating dairy at the wrong time will still slay me, regardless of whether/how long the food item was left unchilled). This is also why I…

My partner's family is convinced that leaving food out at the wrong temperatures is an excellent way to build your immunity to little food bugs. They never get sick, I think they might be on to something.

This is the best thing ever and I am a terrible person.

The next time you tell that story, it should end with "And rams weren't even our mascot. We were just too lazy to draw anything else."

We made balloon arches for EVERYTHING. I still know how, actually. Don't remember algebra, though.

Dear Houston:

I will never not be terrified of nuns.

No, I'm a scientist and I actually think that the misuse of antibiotics is a huge public health issue, and along with anti-vaccination idiots, the sort of nonsense that's probably going to end our civilization. But trying to teach the American public science is harder than teaching a dog Cantonese, and so faced with…

Antibiotics are dangerous. They gave my son JennyMcCarthyitis

You're an asshole for buying a dog

I disagree about Maggie, I think she's a great character. After all the shit she's put up with from Marty, she decided she needed to go scorched Earth on this final breakup and kill their relationship dead. Because Marty won't be able to get back with her after that. Speaking of, he is a misogynist and I feel like a…

Fuck me diagonally, "addicting" is not a thing. The word for the concept you are trying to describe is "addictive." It is a word intended just for that purpose.

I tend to like photorealistic paintings which apparently are not art because blah blah blah bullshit

Well, since you obviously know enough to identify this as modern art (it's contemporary art—modern art ended half a century ago), your opinion on it is definitely an informed one and we should all value it.

I would like to quit my job and stay home full time and take care of my dog. I have an great job in a truly rewarding career and have been very successful. But I will leave this all behind in the blink of an eye to stay at home with my dog. I would stay home with her all day, playing with her and her giant box of…