Building a relationship comes from trust and tolerance. If you’re not a very trusting person, or if you’re a “this isn’t working the first time so hell with it” person, relationships can be difficult to develop.

The next time you find a date, instead of cutting him off, force yourself into a few extra dates. Guys don’t…

I won’t tell you any of those things. You are right, building a happy functional relationship is hard, and it’s made harder by today’s apparent need for everything to happen quickly. For what it’s worth, when I finally started online dating in my 40's after a divorce, I went really slowly.

I have a bidet and love it.

Sub in mayo for the butter*. You won’t regret it.

I thought she just did…

Oh, you said the last two movies. My bad.

Yeah, when your therapist tells you you’re a verbal abuser, that’s not something to gloss over or treat like an attitude issue.

Ummmm. I’m a mom. It’s not the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. Oh my god, I sound like an asshole, don’t I? Jesus. Oh well.

difficult wife, now pregnant.

im not looking at experiencing happiness ever again. so, like all of our milestones in our relationship that have been entirely on her terms; i know the divorce is coming next, she’s keeping the kid, im paying child support and even taking the kid when she’d allow it and paying child…

The Machiavellian motherfucker who invented this Mystery Toy scheme basically found a socially acceptable way to get kids addicted to gambling using their parents’ money. My 4 year old goes nuts for this shit now.

“Dad I need one of these!”
“Don’t you already have a bunch?”
“Yeah but I need Chase and haven’t gotten him…

My God, It’s Full of Stars poultry!

My favorite thing about VHS was that, occasionally, my Dad would copy porn onto basically any tape that he could grab and then forget to mark it with more than just like a dot or code-word for personal reference (and to hide from my Mom) and then, later, my friends and I would be sitting there watching “Chip And…

I was with you up until the “dip my morning bagel in tea” part. You are clearly a crazy person.

Dude. Jap is not the preferred nomenclature.

Thank you for your service in WWII, but please stop using that term.

That yellow part in the middle is nature’s sauce packet. If it turns hard, you’ve overcooked it. ;)

I always thought it was a no brainer stupid conflict, just pull your fair share, end of story. Then I lived for six months with a longterm girlfriend late in college years ago, and every chore resulted in her wanting it done a different way. My biweekly shower scrub/clean schedule was horrifying to her, she insisted…

I refuse to wish anyone happy birthday on facebook. If they’re an important enough friend they get a call or a text. If they’re not do they really care that I wish them happy birthday on social media?

Rule Number One: Everyone entertains all the damn time.

But...it doesn’t have granite counter tops and the laundry is in the kitchen and it’s all so SMALL.