I thought you were dead!

Three weeks ago:

I was surprised the racist woman in the gas station didn’t recognize him as The Manny.

Also great:

And the (hopefully unlikely) rematch: Graft vs. Host.

What kind of a hellscape country do we live in where a WHITE MAN gets fired from his job for calling up escorts from his work phone, then CANNOT IMMEDIATELY get his choice of job afterwards AND THEN must settle for a LESS PRESTIGIOUS job in his chosen field. 

okay but if “analytics” supposedly “work,” how did the Yankees lose 62 games this season? Huh??

(That the Red Wings, Sharks, and Capitals also have regular season conference champion banners in no way lessens the scorn that should be heaped upon Nashville for this, nor the scorn that should continue to be heaped upon those other teams.)

“EXACTLY!”

“Only a sith deals in absolutes” IS an absolute damnit.

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Now just make a titan, wait for the Actium War Rig to drop for you and you will unlock sweet business’ full potential.

Safer than letting them explore Youtube.

Yeah, but with none of the charm. 

Can I get an invite to Deadspin's Slack group so I can observe Magary this week? Thanks in advance.

Like Kirk Cousins’ passes, this joke went over my head. 

I don’t think we need to worry about Vikings fans thinking too much.

We Philadelphians eat our shit literally and figuratively.

Appreciate the sympathy, but we live in a town with a bad football team. It’s not the Holocaust. It’s really, really, super not the Holocaust.

I fast forward or mute the opening number every week because it literally makes me uncomfortable to watch. See how long you can tolerate this shit without wanting to die