Good to see that Edgelord Cynicism is alive and well and that we already have people in the comments accusing this bruised and frightened boy of perpetrating a hoax.  Thumbs up humanity! Good work.

All therapist have this lamp, and if they’re a lady therapist she will have a shawl to match.

This is an important comment. I don't know why but it is. 

As a married person with children, I can confirm that I am now boring. 

I consider Jameela Jamil’s war to be with idiocy and the exploitation of women’s body issues, and the Kardashians just incidentally happen to be one of the worst faces of that

Crazy how despite Prachi Guptas article calling out the subtle racism in misunderstanding Nick and Priyankas wedding, other jezebel writers persist.

Someone has got to get in touch with the administrators running this simulation. Clearly the substrate has gotten infected with some sort of malware.

But she’s really not though. Much like Phyllis Schlafly, if she were really the wife she claimed to be, she’d be at home 24/7 with no job and no other reason to live than her husband, kids, and religion while obeying his every command.

“No apology needed, Stevie. I’m such a fan of yours. I’ve been listening to your stuff from your time with The Mamas and the Papas, and it just blows me away.”

This type of thing and little kids getting baseballs at baseball games are the high-water mark of humanity for me.

Miley Cyprus is her Greek doppelgänger, for when she goes on tour there

I think she cares very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very much about her sons’ boners

women are someone’s daughters and sisters

When they wear those leggings, you can see right where their hoo-has are!

Reminds me of when I was in college and some dude wrote a letter to the editor asking all female students to stop wearing cross-body messenger bags because it emphasized their breasts too much and made him think Impure Thoughts.

if we’re doing our jobs correctly

For their wedding, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom should each sail an 18th century pirate schooner (constructed just for the wedding) right up next to each other off the coast of California, throw the anchors, tie them together, and then get married on the gangplank between them.