I read Pauly D as Pauly Shore and imagined Shore saying “Have a a canolli, buuuuuddy!”.  My 80’s teen years are showing.

I've seen Katherine Heigl in Yorkville a few times. Her skin is FLAWLESS

We are mere ribspawn.

Yeah I’m not sure why body shaming feet is ok either

“Anyone here with college age sons? If so, how are tackling the topic of consent before they move out.”

Once again it’s up to the woman put the man back together. For the kids. Except kids are not as unperceptive as we think. Kids want their parents to be happy, but not at the expense of one another.

I have two kids with a Ben type and I still save his ass and only for them. He’s a decent human when he’s not doing the self-destructive thing. Will I let him close to me ever again? Nope.

LOLZ. I can confirm how funny, humble and nice Tony Hawk is. I’ve worked in the action sports industry for years and honestly, every time I do an event and he’s involved, I breathe a sigh of relief because he is an absolute breath of fresh air who isn’t a total idiot or dbag or combo of the two.

The ponytail came first. It grew the woman we call “Ariana” out of dead protein.

Where’s the side pony?? Come one now. I still rock one and have no shame. If you see an old ass woman in LA with a side pony and Star Wars Vans on, that’s probably me!

I feel like this particular murder struck me harder than most because as much as I always say to myself “they don’t always look like the type” (my father didn’t look like the type either), this guy DIDN’T LOOK LIKE THE TYPE. He looks like a dude I’d swipe a hard right on. And he didn’t use a gun, he was capable of…

Wow, I don’t know if it’s the recent turnover in writers, but more and more I find myself really surprised at the tone of Jezebel’s articles. This is extremely unnecessary, and I hope you’re never confronted by something like this when you ultimately lose a loved one.

Mountain Fiji was my everything and she was the greatest Face to enter the ring.

Leo only dates younger women for the same reason Clooney did: women his own age are smarter than he is and therefore are more threatening and less likely to put up with crap.

Elon Crying in the factory
Oh man!
Look at those Grimes dates go
It’s the freakiest show
Take a look at Azalea
tweating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he’ll ever know
He’s in the worst selling car-show
Is there Musk on Mars?

Anyone else having flashbacks to your friends' high school relationships with these two? 

I love that guy. I don’t believe what he’s saying, but I do believe that he believes what he’s saying and that he’s passionate about it. It doesn’t really hurt anybody so, for the most part, I’m cool with it. Giorgio Tsoukalos (the hair guy) went to my daughter’s university campus a couple years ago to test out…

Can I sue tinder and bumble for literally breaking dating? Would have to be a class action suit.

The thing I do not get is that, like, do these peoples’s tastes not change with age? I mean, when I was a teenager I thought teenagers were objectively the hottest group . When I was in my mid-20s, I thought women in their mid-20s were objectively the hottest. Now that I’m in my early 30s, I think women in their early…

Four words: Wrinkly old man testicles. Wrinkly. Old. Man. Testicles.