Go up to man with stick. Claim you’re scared of stick. Kill man. Enjoy paid vacation. Claim murdered man was “no angel”. Collect extra overtime quelling the protests after you’re cleared of any wrong doing.

I think Charmin Sandiego is a better name than The Mad Pooper.

this comment fucking rules

holy fuck. fucking orange doc martens, adidas ankle socks and shorts. fuck off, you should never step foot on a skateboard ever again. you don’t look cool, you look like a douche in orange doc martens and spandex shorts that’s too fucking lazy to push a longboard board himself. buy some vans and a real longboard you…

Everyone is sending thoughts and prayers, why would he send $1k?

The fact that Apple will take all of your Apple HD content and upgrade it to 4k HDR (if available) for free, is actually a big surprise and really cool. Also, it’s nice to learn that 4K content won’t cost more than HD as previously reported.

But can we be sure that his first name isn’t secretly Jar Jar? Those J’s have to stand for something!

Honestly, this is pretty good news. JJ loves the franchise, has worked with Disney, and put out a good film already.

The extra F is for Fish.

Watching these will never get old.

He graduated Magna Cum Donkey Sauce!

White Americans revolted over unfair taxation and killed over 75,000 to achieve their freedom.

Emma Stone will take his place.

This is like one of those soccer highlights where the player makes a dope move and then hits the post or crossbar. I could argue for days, either way, whether or not it should actually be a highlight.

Albert Pujols was once as beloved as almost any player ever by his hometown fans, well on his way to being the defining player of his generation. Now he’s almost forgotten, washed up, and being forced to watch himself get surpassed by an even better player on a nightly basis, on a (still) shitty team.

They suggested he get an MRI, he suggested they should fuck off, and then his arm suggested that Thor is not a doctor.

This isn’t how sarcasm works.

He’s an Inspiron to us all

I’m a black, millenial male, and 2017 has been absolutely demoralizing. All my life I’ve sincerely believed racism is a thing of the past, the only ones still clinging to white supremacy were dying off, the future was rosy. Even DJTs rise didn’t trouble me as much because he still lost the popular vote and the youth…