OH MAN THIS REMINDS ME OF THIS ONE TIME IN COLLEGE WHERE WE WERE DOING FIREBALL SHOTS OUT OF PEOPLE’S POO-HOLES (ANUSES) AND SOME WISECRACK THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE LMAO TO SET ONE ON FIRE. WHEN I SAW THAT GAPING MAW OF FIRE, TEQUILA, AND A SMALL DINGLEBERRY I THOUGHT “NO WAY BUT THIS IS COLLEGE AND THERE IS NO…

TELL ME MORE OF THIS BADLY EQUALIZED BONER-GRANTING DUBSTEP

You will need a screwdriver, a pair of tweezers, a magnifying glass (optional), some salt (~1tbsp), and a bag of chicken feed, preferably corn-based.

Best Kotaku article I’ve ever read, along with a valuable life lesson.

Kudos to Crystal Griner, David Bailey, and Henry Cabrera for saving lives.

I definitely started finishing with both hands when I was a kid. I called it “The Firestarter” and it helped me wrap things up before my sister wondered what was taking me so long in the shower.

Then I assume he threw that football over them mountains, eh?

*Tim Duncan. Goddam edibles.

Look. It’s Friday and I live in a legalized state. And I can laugh at myself. Which I am. Fuck.

Kerr also added: Except for the ‘96 Bulls. Those guys, especially the guys coming off the bench, would have crushed this team.

No. Because they never would have beaten the 97' Bulls which featured, IRC, Michael Jordan, Dennis Rodman, Magic Johnson, Toni Iommi, Luke Walton, Dickie Simpkins and Scotty 2 Hottie and were coached by Phil Niekro.

Disappointing. Well into the 21st century you’d hope they’d beheading in the right direction and not committing stupid faux pas like this.

Retire, old man, you’re fucking useless. You can cluck your dessicated tongue and wag your bony finger at Trump’s antics all you want, but you don’t actually do a goddamn thing about it.

Marry Simmons, fuck Stephen A., kill Rovell

They seem equally awful to me.
This doesn’t seem like intentionally pumping anything up.

Amen! Holy fuck these BS takes about Maddon being over-rated are dumb. You won your 1st WS in 100+ years 7 Months ago maybe it’s time to sober up.

He actually won EXACTLY 200 games!

Are you of those Chicago people who wanted to keep Rick Renteria when Joe Maddon became available? During my one awful year in Illinois, all I heard on sports radio was callers bitching about how great Renteria was and they shouldn’t hire a guy that actually won a World Series.