This brings back a memory. It was 1999, I was 24? I was on Nantucket, I was very young. The girl sitting next to me was so drunk she was crying. She kept saying “But he was so hot.”

“I didn’t say I WANTED casserole, just that I EXPECTED casserole.”

Do you really not understand why a wealthy person who got in trouble by trying to cut corners on her already relatively less-stressful/cushy job, looks really really bad calling a group typically plagued by debt and a brutally-competitive job market as “lazy” ?

Whether or not she’s still a millionaire is.............debatable.

I don’t know why but hating on Jonathan Cheban is one of my greatest pleasures in life.

To me, her “calmness” was very similar to the way a horse trainer speaks to a spooked and dangerous animal. She couldn’t risk setting Officer Triggerhappy off on herself or her daughter.

I eat like this sometimes due to nerve damage from a major jaw surgery two years ago. This is how you eat when you literally can’t feel parts of your face.

And it’s slightly *gasp* aging.

“He had to convince Chyna to carry his low metabolic seed” is the best sentence I’ve read in ages

Can we give Kourtney some kind of award for being to only one to hold onto what appears to be the face she was born with?

HONESTLY my first thought was:

That was such a nom sequitur.

And if they are taken away, so what? Most people in the world live their entire lives without ever touching a firearm. I just don’t get the pressing need people have to own guns (I exclude rural people owning a rifle from that statement after seeing my cousin having to shoot a rabid fox to protect his dog).

Don’t let anyone ever tell you your home is safer with a gun in it.

All responsible gun owners are responsible gun owners right up until they aren't. Weird how that works.

It would be horribly tragic if my ability to protect myself or my family were to be taken away, but that’s exactly what Democrats are determined to do by banning semi-automatic handguns.

I bet you she complains on Facebook about how everyone is so sensitive and offended by everything these days.

How is this surprising? She has a British identical twin!!!

Comedy Bang Bang! is fucking fantastic and Scott Aukerman has, as a show runner on Earwolf, been a strong advocate of including hilarious ladies. Womp It Up and With Special Guest would probably not exist without CBB! and personally Marissa Wompler and Charlotte Listler are characters I truly cherish. I often wish I…

I love Martha forever and always.