Emma Stone, Amy Poehler, Jessica Williams, Melissa McCarthy, Abbi/Ilana (you only get five, but I consider them a package... please?).

Fuck my dream brunch, I want white wine & martinis & gowns with Gaga & Joan Collins.

And I feel like this is actually the 3rd appearance the dress.

I don't even add a vowels. I just force myself to make a sound out of chvrch. It's just Churches, right? No, don't tell me.

If it's as tacky as her ring, boy oh boy are we in for a treat!

"Letterman is old" jokes get me EVERYTIME. That probably makes me ageist. :-( But he is a rich old white man, so he's got a few available pegs to be knocked down, right?

Been my #1 crush for so long that I don't even consider comparing other celebs to him.

Fuck being normal.

One of my greatest joys while reading Jezebel (and avoiding work) is imagining that you are a 60 year old man who voraciously pecks each letter one at a time.

I would nominate you for comment enforcer if I could. Like lead an anti-nonsense task force.

Again, Jezebel is not a feminist website. So your original message remains puzzling.

Total goober.

And they have a store in Burbank if you live in LA! The separates are great for the hardware store Saturdays!

As a weirdly proportioned tiny person I also fully endorse eshakti for the full-customized feature. It's a great investment if you was a classic dress that fits like a dream. And they are constantly sending me coupons for $25 off.

I am not saying I didn't watch every episode of TNG as they aired (downloaded from Canada in my dorm room). But nobody comments on Timberlake shit with "MICKEY MOUSE CLUB LOLOLOL." Or did you know that Beyonce used to be in a GROUP called Destiny's Child?!

Commenters (common-taters): Nobody is impressed anymore when you remind us he was on Degrassi. We know. Move on with your life?

Nah.

Album sales.

And Drake passed him up years ago. How exactly is that something worth bragging about?

But she wasn't even perfect in every way to every person simultaneously so... GOD I AM SO SICK OF EVERYONE SAYING SHE IS SO GREAT, SHE ISN'T EVERY PERSON'S DEFINITION OF A PERFECT PERFORMER SO SHE THEREFORE SUCKS AND MY OPINION IS ACTUALLY FACT. Also my life is miserable and I only gain pleasure from being "that guy"…