Do you use that joke often? Because it just made me snort coffee into my nose. Amazing.

Oh Kristen, I love thee.

Ugh, seriously! The only Disney movies I ever really liked enough to own/watch more than once were Little Mermaid, Mulan or it was a movie about animals. I LOOOOVVEEDDD Mulan, even into my 20s I would leave it on in my dorm room while studying. She was such a badass. The entire movie about how she does not want to sit…

I went to a Nordstrom in LA and I went totally topless. It was slightly traumatizing for me but TOTALLY WORTH IT OHMYGOD. The little old lady helping me was a bra genie.

I actually did the scenario in the first paragraph. Super old Hungarian lady at Nordstrom. She came in the dressing room with me and insisted I just get (top) naked in front of her and I am a total prude when it comes to getting naked. But I just went with it.

I can appreciate that.

And garlic bread!

I also guffawed, then I remembered: New York. It's like, a thing, I guess. #deepdishforever.

Seriously! Where the fuck is just bread? I will eat a whole loaf of fresh french bread from the grocery story with a little olive oil & balsamic for dipping.

Sweet potatoes are gross and I wouldn't even put them on this list at all. YUCK. SULLYING THE GOOD POTATO NAME.

Have you had any of the new flavored Triscuits? I was super anti-Triscuits until recently, now I have FOUR boxes at work of varying flavors. The rosemary & olive oil are actually delightfully salty. Plain Triscuits are gross though.

Oh man, fuck all y'all bringing your healthy eating tips into this conversation. Now is just not the time or place for this.

I just CANNOT handle this. Lil Victoria is so so so so cute. WHY!!? SO many feelz.

It is the sort of out-of-context bad form that Jez and it's readers regularly harp on when seen elsewhere. Me six.

I WANT TO SQUOOSH HIM.

Yes, do it! Just do your research on hypoallergenic dogs, and be patient. You might have to visit a couple of shelters, but where I live there are HUNDREDS of shelter dogs in one shelter so you are bound to find your perfect pup. And if not, use pet finder to find some local rescue organizations, many of them…

I was only kind of bummed when I read this article, thinking "She is pretty funny, but oh well." And then I read your comment and I am reminded that I am absolutely distraught now. Coold yoou be sereeus..

I felt her episode was one of the best of last season. So apparently you are not commenting facts but an opinion phrased as a fact.

TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL.

I read most of the original 5-6 girls' books (Except for Molly, boo hiss) and Addy & Felicity were by far my favorites. The first doll I bought was Addy, and then I later bought one of the modern dolls. She was a fucking badass. Most of the girls were smart, independent, role models, but Addy was a survivor. She…