It's just not fair, how you white people suffer.

Feeling so vindicated I stopped with Downton right now. If I wanted frigid and cold relationships, I'd just live my own life. [BA DUM CHA]

I never said that it would.

I'm more than a little incredulous that a blogger at Jezebel, a place that has a penchant for snarking on people who have committed far lesser body-image related offences, fails to see the problem with this.

She also chews on plastic key rings and other toys because she is teething, her trainers said.

TWIRLING AROUND WITH A FELT RIBBON IN THE POOL GAHHHHHHH!!!

I am now on the otter beat. I am Jezebel's otter editor.

nononononononononononononono

Troll smarter, not harder!

I have to add a correction. It didn't jump from The Great Pumpkin but rather from You're Not Elected Charlie Brown which is not a very good Charlie Brown special and also ran until 9pm so your kids should have been in bed.

Well, just imagine how I felt when I sat down for Grey's Anatomy and was greeted with Charlie Brown. I'm confident that I was more upset than the kids who might have witnessed a few seconds of naughty touching.

This weekend I was at a party and some stranger came up to me and wordlessly rested his hand on my tit. At the time I thought it was a little rude of him, so I gave him a look of disgust and scampered away. But now I realize that I was at a party and having a good time and I probably had my Please Rest Your Hand On My…

My first thought. Smile! Don't smile! You're literally always asking for it! Gotcha bitch!

This is my personal favourite antirape face. WHAT'S YOURS.

I put on my "don't rape me face" today and had ten men tell me to smile.

Dear Lorde:
Teenagers are not cooler. They are, in fact, extremely boring.

From what I can remember and what I realize now as a 31-year-old, how you feel and respond to things as a teenager might be special to oneself but it's also very limited, which is normal and not particularly interesting. Teenagers lack the charm and good skin of children and they also lack the depth and knowledge of…

Okay honey.