he’s all over these comments carrying water for the cops that scared a 4th grader half to fucken death

The DNC knows what we are doing and knows how to beat Trump.

you can see he’s obviously flabbergasted that he’s down 3-0 despite having a 141.3333% chance of winning this year’s finals

MfA is essentially asking the people in the bottom 80% of the healthcare expense distribution whether they’re willing to bet however many dollars their healthcare costs may increase against their ending up in that top fifth.

Not so much a fight story as it is an unanswered challenge to a fight story. As all “great” stories start, one time i was blackout drunk and trying to walk back from the bar I had just destroyed myself at to the subway. About a block away from the bar, I noticed my shoe was untied and stooped down to fix this…

their fault for their new Ambien wing sauce

I have limited knowledge of union rules and all that, so I’d defer to (and welcome the input from!) someone who’s more well-versed, but w/r/t to the fund the NFLPA has to pay out players in the event of a strike: can some of the more well-off players defer their share of that so it gets disbursed to some of the guys…

Yeah, obviously that’s exactly what I’m saying.

sink florida sink

Unless we just want to believe that everyone’s lying in an organized conspiracy to cover up a murder there’s little evidence to support any kind of criminal wrongdoing here.

i feel the same way, even though i know he’s reprehensible, every time he shows up it’s like “AW LOOK, IT’S THIS FUCKEN GUY!”

AYYYY I’M THOUGHT POLICIN HEA

oh my god the autocorrect-influenced typo in this joke is going to haunt me forever

aw great now i gotta go lie down

I think this one felt like two teams hanging on for dear life at the same time, while still trying to land a killing blow on the other side

that’s what’s called “karma” sweetie

Tom Arnold’s been a good dude ever since he realized that he *could* tie people up and make them watch his shoes (he’s good with knots!) but he didn’t.

Mets fan, so i’m obviously biased, but 100% correct. what i don’t know is what Hannah doesn’t know - do Ronny, Keith, and Gary get a lot of love outside the tri-state area? are there other local teams that come close? I feel like every time deadspin posts a baseball highlight with a local broadcast team announcing, i…

i think the rabid praise for louise mensch, of all fucking people, is what gave me that thought. god help us if these are real thoughts from a real person.