My familiarity with Aldi comes from when I used to live in Ireland, so I always think of them as a place where I should be able to find Irish things, and then I’m always disappointed when I can’t get Battenberg there.

Is there any way to salvage a camera with sub-par manual focus capabilities? I just got a Fujifilm Finepix S1 and I’m finding the manual focus really.....bad. Like, you’re supposed to turn a wheel to manually focus the camera (and you can only use manual focus in certain modes), and sometimes I’ll find myself turning…

Mathan volunteers to help out with turkey scaring.

I don’t know how true it is, but there’s a story where I grew up that down in CT, they started to have a turkey problem (in the story, it’s because their hunting laws are too strict), so they introduced fishercats to control the turkeys, but then the fishercats just started eating everyone’s pet cats because they were…

Same - the chorus is giving me a Meghan Trainor vibe, but I don’t mind the rest of it.

Yeah, I was like, ‘who’s giving peace signs with the back of their hand facing out?’

Exactly what I was thinking: those are definitely wine charms.

Dibs on playing the miscellaneous rhythm instruments and shouting ‘oi!’ in the background!

I like your style. I have a toy poodle, and sometimes when I’m talking to someone I think, You self-important twat. If only you knew that if the building were on fire and I had to choose between saving you and saving my dog, I wouldn’t even have to think about it...and he’s 15 years old.

Thank you for this (even though you made me cry at work - then again, I probably should be working?). I’m 32, and it’s only been in the last year or so that I’ve started to suspect that I have body dysmorphia, and pretty much every sentence in this article could have been about me.

One time I saw a woman sitting outside at a cafe with one of those mini huskies. I went ‘awww, he’s adorable!’ and she said, in a completely flat, dead voice ‘you want him?’ I just thought to myself, no, I don’t want him, because I did a lot of breed research before I decided on my own dog and I know that a mini husky…

Ah! I have a story about this! I did a falconry session once and they had all kinds of different birds there, and the instructor was telling me that owls are actually really bad at it - because they’re stealth hunters, so if they think they’ve been spotted, they just won’t bother. He said one time this rich guy came…

How old do you think her dog is? Canine cognitive dysfunction (basically dementia for dogs) could explain some of that. That was partly how we were able to recognize it in our dog as he got older - totally fine one second, then snaps the next.

Exactly! It’s surprisingly easy to just not put your dog in a situation where they might cause a problem. And clearly this woman cares enough about her dog to think he should socialize, yet somehow doesn’t care enough to recognize that she’s putting her dog at risk.

I do NOT understand that kind of owner at all. When my dog started developing dementia, he started sometimes being not okay with other dogs taking their time while sniffing his butt and would occasionally snarl at them after a few seconds. So I simply stopped letting him have contact with other dogs. And I did this…

But more importantly, how do I get a gig as an ethnographer for ikea?

My father would always do shit like this - not in like, a sexual way, but in that he thought he was a hilarious joker, always sticking his finger in people’s ears, poking their belly if it was visible, pinching them - that sort of thing. And he thought it was ESPECIALLY funny if it made them mad. I’ve never been…

Not to mention that there are certainly trans members of the military that will end up staying closeted and having to suffer through that - that’s not disruptive at all!

Oh god, you’re killing my self control right now. I have to hope that I’ve forgotten this conversation by the time I’m driving past the grocery store today.

I just hope that wherever he ends up, he never gets to eat KFC or steak & ketchup again.