You say that like there’s more than one city.

Having lived both places, I can say that once you get outside Burlington, Vermont can be just as bad as NH. Never forget.

THAT HAPPENED TO ME TOO! I read this one article about how I should check my breasts for lumps and I just assumed that other people would appreciate having me check their breasts for lumps too, and now I’m in jail.

Nothing in this article mentions massaging other people’s dogs....? And only four of the states in that link specifically disallow it if you’re not a vet, while sixteen states/territories allow it with no vet intervention and twenty-three allow it with vet supervision/referral. And that’s for if you want to do this as…

I’d pay $20 for an easy mode where people like me who are bad at combat can just walk at enemies mashing the button until the enemy dies, preferably without managing to land a hit on me.

Same thing for me with those little tubs of gel eyeliner. No matter how carefully I take care of it, it’s going to get dried out and cakey LONG before I run out of it, and since I use it on my eyes, I give mine the same deadline of 3 months as I do my mascara, and it pisses me off how much of it I always end up…

When I was growing up in coastal NH, there was one year that some local authority in Maine just north of us decided to release millions of ladybugs to control pests. Well, they all ended up in my town, and all summer long everyone’s ceilings were COVERED in ladybugs, like literal crawling ceilings where you couldn’t…

Brb printing out a cutout of Robert Fisher’s face to affix to my boxing dummy for this afternoon’s workout. It’s gonna be SO SATISFYING.

The difference is, when someone stomps on Robert Fisher’s face, we ALL enjoy it.

How did I miss the call for this? My family has all kinds of great-but-gross recipes!

The Game 5 design looks like an IUD going into a basketball hoop.

Awwwww, so precious!

He’ll be able to find you! The first time my mom brought my pupper to visit me in college, he made a beeline to my dorm room despite never having been there before (and he’s as dumb as a bag of rocks, bless him). Wherever he is, he’ll find you and he’ll be happy if you live somewhere you’re happy. And you don’t need…

I was thinking something like that (crumpled money) or like a swimming pool full of saffron.

This is weird - just yesterday I was walking behind someone at work who was carrying a coffee mug that said ‘Solar FREAKIN Roadways’ and I couldn’t figure out what it meant. I just googled it and it’s not even a new thing! It’s like that time my mom and I, living thousands of miles apart, both randomly and…

I’m a big fan of birdfeeders in abundance. My favorite is this one I got where you put it in the window and it juts into the house and it has a one-way mirror at the back so you can get right up to it and (as long as the light outside is brighter than the light inside) the birds won’t be bothered because they can’t…

I spent years trying all kinds of tricks to keep squirrels away from the birdfeeders, and honestly the only thing that has actually worked is to feed the squirrels in addition to the birds. So as long as the squirrels have corn and peanuts, they’ll leave the birdfeeders alone. Plus, now I have squirrel friends!

I bought one of those for my mom! She and her cats love it, although the squirrels eventually wised up and stopped even trying.

I can help you out here. Put 1 Tbsp (or 2 if you’re feeling indulgent) peanut butter in a mug and microwave it for 30 seconds. Add powdered sugar by the teaspoonful until it’s the right consistency, stirring between additions of powdered sugar. Then eat it with a spoon!

Adding this to my wishlist for the next time I get tipsy off pink wine and decide to treat myself!