I'm 5"2", and I was hit in the jaw by an airbag in a 1996 model car (so, the older style of airbag, not the multi-stage sort they have now). I could barely open my mouth for a week, although (thank god) there was only bruising and cuts and nothing broke. I still have a scar near my mouth from it.

you may not hear about it, but it happens often enough, esp. when they try to go for the eyes. (Not to mention cat scratch fever, which is a real disease, not just a ted nugent song)

Ugh. I HATE that small dog owner blase-ness about biting. The worst bite I ever got was from a pomeranian. In my experience, ALL dogs need a firm hand and proper socialization, whether they weight 8 pounds or 80—although some need more direct training than others, particularly working breeds.

True Story: when I first heard this song, as a four-year-old in the back of the car, I burst into tears. I'd imagine this book would have a similar effect on many kids. That said, I've loved the illustration style since it first went viral.

Before I got my driver's license, I used to fantasize about driving around town yelling at men though my window. Then I realized the only thing that would do is make me feel scuzzy.

My high school skirt could stand up on its own. It also melted if it caught fire. The top half of our uniforms were men's dress shirts embroidered with our school crest. It was, in fact, the single least-flattering outfit I've ever worn, and that includes a banana costume and footy pajamas. Plus, I was chunky,…

I used to do this in high school in the good ol' us-of-a, except that I wore stripey flannel pajama pants under my plaid skirt.

mee-ow. Nothing says sexy like a deerstalker cap.

Somebody needs to tell Ms. Sexy Ph.D that she's wearing an undergraduate's gown.

Can I get some love for Target's house brand wine cubes? I love the white blend and in the summer, the sangria is my jam.

oh man, there are photos of college-aged me doing that. I'm so glad I don't want to run for political office

In a world divided between chocolate (good) and vanilla (evil), strawberry represents a dangerous third column that should be stamped out immediately.

Yup. It's amazing how shalimar makes everyone smell like an old woman!

I am a compulsive perfume buyer. Every time I travel internationally (which is often) I find myself lingering in duty free, trying to talk myself out of yet another pretty glass bottle. I go hot and cold on scents—which is why my cousin got a nearly-full bottle of chanel chance from me. After a while, though I always…

that's the only way I've ever heard it pronounced? In Europe and in the US? I'm not complaining, though because it gives me an excuse to post awesome old euro-kitsch nutella commercials

[www.amazon.com] ach, the original link didn't work... The company is now called outremer. It's awesome stuff.

[www.nivea.co.uk] Nivea Lip Balm. Labello to you continental types. Love this stuff.

aaach sorry, I tried to add a link and it didn't work. Here it is [www.smallflower.com] and they also usually have it at Anthropologie.

[www.demeterfragrance.com] Demeter has a lobster EDT. Also bourbon, black pepper and sushi.

You guys want to smell like dissert? I've got the secret for you. The best part? It's usually under $20, and comes in a totally cute bottle!