Holy shit, that thing is awesome.

“...he threw a glass of wine on me when I simply corrected him by saying the letter T was a consonant and not a vowel.”

I can’t look at pictures of any of the Obamas without getting choked up. Oh, this was a proud time.

clarification: by “everyone” I mean “me.” Me still walking. Baby has never been walking. Baby still isn’t even crawling; a system of pivoting and rolling has proven remarkably effective for him and he may feel that further development is unnecessary.

Update 4: Day 81 of not washing my legs. Am also not washing my baby’s legs. Everyone still walking. But are my legs REALLY fine? What if my filthy shame is just usually covered by pants?

It’s not no reason! They are shitty! That’s a reason!

#jonesingforit

update: nvm

YOUR CHILD IS NOT UNCUTE

Me and my wife and my baby all went into our very smiley Brooklyn voting place where everyone is voting for the same woman, and we shared a little moment together because this is a great day: we’re about to elect our second great president in a row. I’ve been a fan of Hillary Clinton for 20 years, and I was so proud…

Update 3: it’s been about a month since I washed my legs. They look fine.

Let’s talk about keys! I’m going to go from like step zero here, and you might know all of this already. But maybe someone else doesn’t!

go home jay-z you’re drunk

Good one.

You’re kidding, he missed “Livin’ on a Prayer”??? That’s the second-best example of this ever!

Creep doesn’t have a key change!

how is that even possible?

Where I come from, the venn diagram for “dad music” and “fraternity music” is just one circle and inside it is written “Dave Matthews.”

Can we have a serious conversation about an official term for this? More specifically, when the key goes up by exactly one note, a la “I Will Always Love You”? I’ve been calling it the truck-driver gear shift, which I got online somewhere - but that’s not exactly right, because I don’t understand trucks. We need a…

oh, that’s wonderful.