otherwise known as “the 80s”.

Kelly Stout, that is a terrible job. Just terrible.

Hell yeah this guy! He stood up to ask his question and we were all like shit, what’s this guy’s number so we can invite him to play Ticket To Ride with us on game night.

UPDATE 2: have not washed my legs since that day. Life continues at usual pace. Marriage apparently unaffected.

The real surprise was, I thought Hillary’s was funnier than Obama’s.

Homegoing was awesome! So is Madame Bovary. Those are the books I’ve read.

UPDATE: washed my legs this morning. It was weird and took too long and I briefly wondered, “Have my knees been dirty?” but no, they haven’t been, and the whole thing was dumb. NEVER AGAIN.

I want it made clear to the world that I comment on this site like once every couple of months, but this is the seventh comment I’ve made on this one article.

There are two kinds of people in the world, Dr. Donna’s Vagenda of Manocide. People who have filthy feet because washing their feet would kill them and when you’re dead your feet get dirty anyway, and the other kind.

Your pedicurist does not like you.

BUT YOU WILL DIE WITH CLEAN FEET

Of course I don’t wash my legs, that is insane. And I have leg hair! Super nice leg hair, even!

OF COURSE I WASH MY FEET

FUCK YEAH!

I lost the fight to name our kid “Steve”, which I think is the funniest name in existence. I’m still mad about it. God, think about it: “Steve said his first word today!” It’s funny, right? It’s pretty funny.

HELLO ALIENS! IN CASE YOU ARE READING JEZEBEL, WHICH IS HONESTLY NOT A BAD CHOICE, WELCOME! IN ADDITION TO THIS FINE BLOG I RECOMMEND GEORGE ELIOT. THAT OUGHT TO PRETTY MUCH DO IT.

I didn’t see Farters, is it good?

“when someone stumbles over, I think it was their fault and I resent them for it.”

CROOKED HILLARY KAINE HAS EATEN THIS YOUNG WOMAN’S BRAIN AND NEXT SHE WILL COME FOR YOU

My child has never seen a white male president and he’s not gonna start next year!