Semi-turded.

She just seems extremely immature and try hard-y. The vampy dancing is very Britney. I dunno, pop music in general is terrible. I admit to liking some pop music as a guilty pleasure, if it’s especially catchy, but as a general rule, if you like top 40 music and that is it, I think you have terrible taste in music.

“...and I greatly appreciate my fans’ concerns for my well-being...”

EXACTLY.

Sometimes it slips, especially when alcohol is involved. It’s usually an “oops! Sorry!” and then vag resumes. Not like it goes all the way in...just the tip.

Ever since I got a bunion from wearing some cheap, stupid high heeled Fergie brand boots in 2011 (yes, from a shoe line by Fergie Black Eyed Pea Fergie) I have sworn off high heels. I now wear handmade oxfords (nurse shoes) and I’m 39. I also wore this same style when I was 22 and everyone made fun of me. My feet are…

High heels: not quite as brutal as foot binding, but damn close (minus breaking foot bones and the threat of death from infection. But still some serious bunion action and foot maiming). Seriously folks, quit wearing these torture devices.

Same.

Ding dong ditch!

I love my state/Minneapolis! So proud!!

Mmmm...coconut shrimp...

Every fucking celebrity apology uses the same phrase: “I apologize if I offended anyone,” or “I apologize to anyone I offended,” which is a non-apology. Why can’t they just come out as say, “I am so sorry to everyone! I fucked up and I was ignorant and foolish.”

“locomotive jones” must be another one of those Gawker refugees, messing up our diplomatic threads with their disgusting trolling.

Jared is fucking disgusting and so is subway, but I’m hungry and now thinking to myself “Hmmm, I could really go for a Subway sandwich.” :/

I think it’s funny that the side effects are vomiting and abdominal pain. One of which the pill is trying to “cure”???

I keep hearing references to the Gacy encounter in the comments on last year’s spooky story thread. I can’t find it anywhere! And I don’t want to scroll through the comments for four days trying to find it. Help?

He’s drinking Mountain Dew :/

Dammit autocorrect!

No, but this story of mine might Moynihan be uncommon either!

This may be why we aren’t together anymore. That, and he once told his friend to smell his fingers after we had just got done having sex :(