This burger deserves to be saluted while Bruce Springsteen sings “God Bless America”.

Also, you can bring your own beer!

This picture bring me so much joy!

Selling paint has prepared me for some strange color names, like Rape Yellow (RAL1021). It’s the color for the Austrian postal service.

E.T. All the children who had direct contact with the extra terrestrial life form get quarantined, and they do not escape. E.T. gives them all space measles. They die. E.T. is dissected, but a doctor is exposed. Epidemic spreads across the earth. We’re fucked.

You can be my wingman anytime

Now I'm laughing like a maniac at work. This is my new favorite.

But when is El Chapulin Colorado gonna take out the Cartels in Mexico?

Chicago’s deepest dish pizza. Not that I’ll eat any of that trash.

Actually, phosphoric acid bonds phosphorus with iron in place of oxygen creating a non-corrosive substance in place of rust.

I work at an Auto parts store and whenever someone comes in looking to take rust off chrome, I recommend Coke and aluminum foil. I was using that trick before Mythbusters and it works better than any of the products I sell($6-$11) and for less than a dollar. I lose money on sales, but customers leave happy and are…

A Boy and His Dog. I question Blood's intelligence since he sticks around waiting for Vic after he goes into the bunker full of creepy Howdy Doody lookalikes, but that could just be a dogs misplaced loyalty instinct kicking in. Then there is Vic himself. What to say about him? He's just shit.

At least when you get robbed at gun-point the criminal is wearing criminal clothes. Black and white striped shirt, beanie, mask. They're a lot easier to spot than the run of the mill criminals in real life. Most of them don't even bother wearing striped shirts.

"God has cared for these trees, saved them from drought, disease, avalanches, and a thousand tempests and floods. But he cannot save them from fools."

Jennifer Lawrence as Medea

I accidentally chose “Your Brothers” even though I knew she had none. I thought my stupid mistake killed her. She freaked out and said I knew nothing about her and was about to jump, but a miracle happened. I quoted a Bible verse. Yeah, I read Kate’s Bible and learned her favorite verse. I shot that shit right back in…

If there are Sirens on Titan, then there must be strippers on Callisto.

The executive officer was quoted as saying: "Don't worry, I can fix it. My Dad's a T.V. repair man. He has the ultimate set of tools."

Damn, now I'm hungry for ribs.

Myanmar, but it will always be Burma to me.