They are appalled by racism and bigotry, but they don't let women into their school. I have no faith in faith.

"You see what happens when you keep bringing those damn gold envelopes. That's what happens. Say something and I'll strangle you with that fucking lab coat!"

I wondered why anyone would date someone named "Gooch", until I read her licence plate said "Jrsygrl". Makes sense now.

The Rock does not "masturbate". He "sands his wood".

Boiled over-hard is the only right way.

That head warble is mesmerizing.

Captain America with a five o'clock shadow is weird. Andy Dyer without one is, too.

How do people not know the joys of Milk-Steak?

Those poor raisins could have been wine. It makes me so sad.

Piranhas are cuter, he should get piranhas.

I was once a Booth Yeti at a snow sports trade show. I basically just wandered around in a furry suit and got free booze from my company's competitors while hitting on their Booth Babes. Life as a Furry was good for those few strange days.

Accepting Applications NOW!

Cinco De Mayo happens to fall on Taco Tuesday this year. Just sayin'.

If you know why this picture is relevant, you are old like me.

"Jayden Smith for Miles Morales"

Mr. Boa went back into his box.

2079 Ford Mustang

I think the MSG is getting to you people. Doritos are the hell spawn of the almighty Tortilla Chip and Lucifer's salty ball cheese. For that sin, the Morning Star was cast from the Heavens to exist in the everlasting fire and brimstone of burning Nacho Cheese Doritos. Everyone who eats them shall join the Father of…

I don't even like the DMC-12 that much. It's the hidden wipers and endura bumpers that put him on my list.