Fuck off, lib.

lol, all Jalopnik needs to do now is write how “muscular” Hillary is.

How convenient. Now they don’t have a camera in the stands strictly for stealing signs and predicting pitches.

I wouldn’t celebrate too much, Toronto. Tomorrow night you have to face a fresher-than-hell Zach Britton in the deciding Game 2.

That is literally the same excuse some ultraconservative Salafist/Wahhabist might give. Although I imagine the people who’d flip out over that are somehow okay with this.

If this is what your religion teaches / preaches, your religion sucks.

“After Clinton trounces Trump in November”

He wasn’t “beaten to a bloody pulp”. He was punched in the face a few times and it opened him up. That is the risk you take when you assault someone.

This. I don’t see the problem here. Don’t throw a pie in someones face at a formal event and you don’t worry about getting the crap beaten out of you. Fuck KJ for about a million other things, but this one is a wash. 

I think the pie in the face is a punchable offense.

Zero - Because when some nut job comes up on you from behind, yells at you while shoving you in the face (even with a pie) - you are allowed to fight back against that assault

Look, Kevin Johnson is a world-class POS, but he was well within his rights to put the two-piece on that idiot’s face repeatedly.

Why should he face charges? He was attacked

“Mathematically, I had to do it, Jerry.”

You’re just mad you don’t feel the vibrations any longer....

So aren’t Russell’s pre- and post-sex numbers sort of like that Seinfeld where George gets smart when he stops having sex, and then when he finally breaks he’s so dumb that he messes up one of Jerry’s acts?

Um yes. If somebody throws something at you, you’ve been attacked, and should respond.

i get that Kevin Johnson is kinda a dick, but why are the words “self-defense” or “in retaliation to” not anywhere in this piece? it wasn’t an unprovoked, random attack.

Somewhere, Phil Kessel is rolling in his gravy.

You know how many people still beat their children? It might make you feel better to pretend otherwise, but he is not really an outlier or some egregious monster. He’s an uninformed, misguided father who’s leaning on the practices of his upbringing