Equally plausible.

Or, he's so fucking wasted he didn't see her until he shoulder checked her, then flailed to try to catch her, fell to the ground with her and then ate her pussy.

"Rampage" is a bit of a misleading word here. Her name is Pam.

The shots on Helwani are total bullshit. His question was legitimately tough and Dana's answer was self-evidently cuckoo-bananas.

Turner Field's age—just 16 years old!

They took them to go focus on their education and learning the arts from football practice?? DON'T THEY KNOW FOOTBALL IS LIFE! COWARDS!

You bathe in shit?

I don't think I could ever get enough shots of distraught Cards fan. I would bathe in their tears and shit.

You understand Jeff Kent was WAY worse than Bonds as far as dick-ish and, more importantly, bigoted behavior, right?

Ahh I guess someone hasn't heard how Metacritic affects the industry.

Were you trying to set a world record for most strawmen and false equivalences in a single sentence?

Yes, because the first nation tribes towards whom that term is derogatory are all liberals.

As I've said before here, perhaps you should approach the next African-American you see and call him a "blackskin." Be sure to take notes on whether or not he finds it offensive.

Hear that? That's the thunder of scared white people stampeding over themselves to trash "political correctness" because they feel threatened by the fact that they're losing more and more avenues by which to marginalize minorities.

Because he's a damn good basketball writer.

Bill Simmons: "My first experience today with someone writing a "sources" report about me that's not true. Part amusing, part horrifying." You would give him the benefit of the doubt that this report is wrong.

That's not entirely fair - whatever you think of his writing and point of view, he clearly has an eye for talent and an understanding of his audience - he's built a pretty good stable of writers at Grantland.

I'm backing him. He is still good and knows the NBA as well as anyone. Sure, he is a fan of a team, but why is that a problem? Everyone knows it, and it certainly doesn't prevent him from going after the Celtics when he thinks they are doing something foolish. Oh right, this is the internet, where novelty is the only…