Alpha's, as the man said built to be the best a car can be, for a VERY short period of time, several minutes if you are lucky.

Turned it on, it took ages to read my libary then all it did was suggest I might want to buy this or that, didnt give me any of the tunes in my libary, eh? I must be using it wrong, I'll have another go but to be honest it didn't "ROCK" for me.

"Hey Earl, What shall we do with all this plastic thats left over from making those recycle bins?"

These Tibetan monks just don't have the commitment they used to.

Motorcycle's - just the one thing to say, it's raining today so the Hospital should be fine for transplant organs.

The things people will do to avoid paying the toll charge. Now thats how you hide your number plate from the camera.

Never had a Vauxhall, never will. Just don't like em' for the money your always gonna be better off with a Ford.

What no 'Grandma in Rocking Chair' on roof option?

'Pity the fool' - BA Brabus lol.

UK Granada was a fantastic beast, built like a tank, went forever, I loved them, this, not so much.

@donkeyassman: Now you gone and said it....... first rule of French car never talk about French car in a positive way, you will lose the upper hand and then well..... (Best acsent)"Ha, F**k you, I'm French, walk!"

You want Citroens? Are you insane? They are an evil mistress. How can something so simple as a 2CV eat money like that? And why oh why did I buy another one only for that bitch to fall apart on me aswell, but not before she sucked me dry! For the love of all thats holy walk away.

Please make them all really badly. Thank you.

I had a new shape Beetle 2.3 V5 Sport (Real limited edition one not the shite they pretend is a sport on ebay) 115mph was nothing it was still begging for more - got shot once I started to get Christmas Cards from OPEC. It didnt have a carburetta it had little men that used to throw buckets of petrol at it as you…

@Rock517: Post from yesterday "The Telegraph Ranks The 100 Ugliest Cars Of All Time" where they got it so wrong it wasn't even funny. How can you not like this car, put it next to any of the tupperware on offer these days and its still miles ahead even tho its nearly as old as me.

@Rock517: Your a Telegraph reader perhaps?

Beautiful. Just that really, beautiful.

It may be a little late but I've just posted a comment on the Telegraphs site, bunch of tupperware driving, tree hugging ........

I'm a little late to this party but I'd just like to say ......WHAT A SHIT LIST!

My first ever trip to Washington DC my hosts introduced me to a guy called Walter, he'd walked past a pink Cadillac everyday for months seeing the parking tickets build up, keys were in it......anyway long story short he just got in it and drove it away, had it for a year or so then left it where he found it a year…