And ignores the fact that the US leads the series 18-12-10 since 1990, or is even tied 2-2-1 since the last World Cup, including our second-straight tie in Azteca during qualification, which was arguably our worst run of soccer since the 80s. Or the fact that Mexico would have missed the 2014 World Cup without US…

Grow up

You should get a new dad

I’d also add in that a lot of the “story” is for SEO reasons, to use the terms that googlers are looking for and to improve the content score of the page. 

He said it was 2nd & 11, chief. I put that together and I didn’t watch more than 10 Rams’ plays all year.

Burnette’s Cherry

I second this. My Rockies didn’t even win the World Series in 2007, but that run of games constituted the best month of my life. Every night was a do-or-die game and an excuse to drink in celebration, when I didn’t even need an excuse anyway. And I think I missed like 100 classes that semester and still made the damn…

No. They’d probably start for us, for sure, and obv certain players would (Messi, Vidal, etc.) but it’s not like Tigres’ Eduardo Vargas (starting forward for Chile) would be the greatest US player of all time.

So does he

Puppetry of the penis! We made a lot of hot dogs and hamburgers in my HS locker room. We were weird kids

Ah yes, the police, noted fans of those who destroy evidence and refuse to cooperate with an investigation.

It’s kinda stupid, but literally activating your flight-or-fight reaction helps (though it’s the opposite). Having someone count 1-2-3-jump! puts pressure on you to make your decision then, eliminating the time to think about what could go wrong, so you just do it.

Obligatory

Larry once broke my funny bone and now I can’t tell if this a joke or not

Well his submarining of the USFL made damn sure the CFL is the second best professional football league in the world.

Gonna pin “YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT THIS GUY’S LAST TWEET WAS”

In the form of a good rival, HEEEERRRREEEE’S RALPHY:

As always, the Rockies would like to throw their hat into this NL West ring for dumbest way to lose:

What if I told you all referees in the west are the same refs

Against NE he had Brady dead to rights and decked him, but didn’t really go for the strip. I have to think that may have been mentioned in the film room.