But is he a 56XL because he works out or because he does not work out? My sympathy depends on that very key factor.

Aqib Talib does his best to keep fine jewelry off the field

Judging by his whiny bitch ass voice, that man’s testicles have yet to descend

Playoff LeBron will humble Ben Simmons if they meet, GSW is not afraid (but leery), and no Dantoni team will ever win the finals because he’s too busy watching his teams find new ways to shit the bed even when they are the consensus best team in the league

To be fair, the list of people not afraid of LeBron in the playoffs is pretty short:
KG, Paul Pierce, Kobe, Dirk, Timmy, Manu, Tony Parker, Steph, KD, Thompson, did I forget anyone?

...Oh yeah, he lost to Dwight Howard and Hedo Terkoglu once. Nevermind let’s move on.

Too bad he didn’t ask the homeless guy what his thoughts were

The real joke is always in the replies

I was a college bartender and to be honest I don’t think I even knew how to make a cocktail with more than two ingredients until my real-world girlfriend ordered vodka-water-limes and broke my Natty Light mind

Tarik Cohen*

I’m not buying anymore of your books or using the Chopped .gif again until you take back your Chainsaw Sword smack talk

That escalated quickly Whitney

Former bartender that can confirm many basic bitches love Long Islands at their favorite campus bar

Scrappy save at the end of that last sentence. Lots of heart and left it all out on the field(box).

You had me at cocaine and maple syrup

Shortest Dennis Miller joke I’ve ever heard

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Hi welcome to Deadspin, would you like to hear the newest dick joke? It’s a long one!

I couldn’t bear to watch the whole thing

See the above post referencing the very recent 2018 Marlins trading reigning NL MVP Giancarlo Stanton

New ownership wanting that $$$ makes teams do very incorrigibly stupid fucking things.