Bonilla got injured The Right Way

You comment too much to be a medical doctor. I say that as a compliment, what with my near-bachelors from a directional midwest state school and all. Actually, what I’m saying is that I’m Deadspin’s target demographic and you are showing off. So whatever, dude.

Pre-Barbaro vintage Deadspin right here folks

But Reggie Bush doesn’t have a vote and that’s what matters, that daggum cheater! He was such a jerk for taking care of his parents and earning them have a decent cookie-cutter subdivision suburban home from his toils that subjected him to brain damage and various physical ailments that will surely impair him before…

As a Bears fan, you can go ahead and circle Week 16 on your fantasy calendars for the day Garret gets 62 sacks to lead Hue Jackson keeping his job with 18 FF, 12FR, 3TD and 7 return TDs to drive your D/ST to the ‘Ship
#joshgarden

Counterpoint: don’t lie to customers (package deliverees) and clients (Amazon)

Good bot

Counterpoint: soccer is lame. Not in the footbawwww sort of way, because American football is also not great. It’s just that soccer is lame and boring to me... and I run marathons multiple times a year.

I’m white, so, uh, you forgot to tell me how long to cook at 350? I assume 350 because that’s what we cook everything at (we learned breakfast culinary delicacies like Bagel Bites and Toaster Strudels at an early age and still eat them 32 years later)

You ever do that thing where you don’t realize it’s not a highlight because you have a turkey day buzz and glossed over the title and next thing you OH HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK AAAGGGGHHH

Remember folks: This is Deadspin. Don’t vote with how you personally feel about the candidates. Vote for all those sammiches you could save from Jason Whitlock’s personal storage space under his fedora.

Less than 48 hours later you were proven correct. The cynic in me knows that this is just LOLPolitics. The idiot in me wants to ask you who to invest in.

Uhh I don’t know if there is a way to verify, but, uhh, am I like out of the greys? AND DID IT SERIOUSLY TAKE AN A.J. DAULERIO DEEP STATE JOKE TO BRING ME OUT??

because that would make sense

Francis Xavier is that you?

Advanced analytics taking over Gawker Media Group. As a long-time reader I have to admit

Tomsula is a leftover Totino’s found in a dumpster after a frat party kind of guy. Get outta here with that Fancy Boy Tombstone!

Not with that attitude

Shut up. Indiana sucks. I had to cover that shit-hole of a state for 3 years of work as part of my region. Purdue sucks if you have any semblance of an outgoing social demeanor and don’t want to play on Excel or CAD all day (disclaimer - I play on Excel and SAS all day)

Sooooooo not very good?

This is a bad take.