Counterpoint: don’t lie to customers (package deliverees) and clients (Amazon)

Good bot

Counterpoint: soccer is lame. Not in the footbawwww sort of way, because American football is also not great. It’s just that soccer is lame and boring to me... and I run marathons multiple times a year.

I’m white, so, uh, you forgot to tell me how long to cook at 350? I assume 350 because that’s what we cook everything at (we learned breakfast culinary delicacies like Bagel Bites and Toaster Strudels at an early age and still eat them 32 years later)

You ever do that thing where you don’t realize it’s not a highlight because you have a turkey day buzz and glossed over the title and next thing you OH HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK AAAGGGGHHH

Remember folks: This is Deadspin. Don’t vote with how you personally feel about the candidates. Vote for all those sammiches you could save from Jason Whitlock’s personal storage space under his fedora.

Less than 48 hours later you were proven correct. The cynic in me knows that this is just LOLPolitics. The idiot in me wants to ask you who to invest in.

Uhh I don’t know if there is a way to verify, but, uhh, am I like out of the greys? AND DID IT SERIOUSLY TAKE AN A.J. DAULERIO DEEP STATE JOKE TO BRING ME OUT??

because that would make sense

Francis Xavier is that you?

Advanced analytics taking over Gawker Media Group. As a long-time reader I have to admit

Tomsula is a leftover Totino’s found in a dumpster after a frat party kind of guy. Get outta here with that Fancy Boy Tombstone!

Not with that attitude

Shut up. Indiana sucks. I had to cover that shit-hole of a state for 3 years of work as part of my region. Purdue sucks if you have any semblance of an outgoing social demeanor and don’t want to play on Excel or CAD all day (disclaimer - I play on Excel and SAS all day)

Sooooooo not very good?

You win. Shut it down, folks!

This is a bad take.

Lots of waxing nostalgic for KSK recently. Good times, good times...

Future Mrs. Rick Ankiel or gtfo

Someone else used to read KSK?! Is this Drew’s burner account? WHO ARE YOU

I’m sorry, I thought I read “$50,000" and “Pontiac” in the title. Surely that was a typo because those words are mutually exclusive from each other.