Minivans. Unless you’re too manly to be caught dead behind the wheel of a mommy-mobile.

I’m a firm believer that you should only get high-end sunglasses if they’re prescription.  You’re going to take better care of those because you’re going to be outside squinting like Mr. Magoo if you break or lose those.

100% of these complaints can be easily remedied by buying a Miata.

For rent:  Glass apartments.  Stone-throwers need not apply.

Not to say that one is like the other, but women are flying fighter jets, and those are capable of exerting high g-forces as well.

You’re going to regret not going for The Dale instead.

It’s the Impossible Burger’d version of an internal combustion engine.

I don’t think Iwaya has read the room.

I dunno. These road-ragers nowadays are more likely to shoot you.

MBS (what an unfortunate coincidence of initials) looks like a man who doesn’t want his dirty laundry aired.

Mass shootings don’t have longevity in the news cycle anymore. There’s just too damn many of them. Even now, they’re barely reporting on one in rural Mississippi over the weekend (six dead), and I’m sure that’s going to drop off the cycle before the weekend’s over.

At the same time, I find it sad that the irony will be lost on them.

Violence begets violence, and I’m not saying Will Smith shouldn’t have slapped fire out of him...but I understand.

People aren’t GameStop’s most precious resource.

I have a stubby tongue. My wife tells me, "side doesn't matter," but I know she doesn't want to hurt my pride. 

Because Tork. 

In their hands, everything is lethal.

Or “preexisting health conditions”

Didn’t they reboot Will and Grace already?