Said Princes Di, “It’s a bit crowded.”

Because they are fiscally responsible. Same reason Bieber uses coupons on his tattoos and books the apprentice in the shop whenever possible. 

Bieber looks like what would happen if you crossed Scooby Doo’s Shaggy, a frazzled David Lee Roth impersonator and an ad recruiting patients for a hepatitis drug clinical trial.

Marriage is hard enough without feeling like you are competing with the ghosts of relationships past. 

Bieber and Baldwin are swimming in money, so why do they get their hair dye from the dollar store? 

True story. I walked the mall the day before I went into labor. I had to go give my opinion on bridesmaids dresses for my sister’s wedding and then Mr. Levy wanted to go look at stuff. Probably walked about 2 miles. Went home and took the best nap of my pregnancy. Woke up in labor around 4:30am. ;)

I am a midwife who has delivered 200+ babies and I can say that this is very true. 

Know what actually makes you go into labor? Manual labor. I spend an hour on my hands and knees chipping old kitchen tiles off my floor, baby born less than 24 hours later.  Any good doula will tell you the same. Labor not progressing fast enough? Go clean your kitchen floor on your hands and knees. 

That’s like...barely a salad. It’s a pile of lettuce with way too much dressing.

Dangerous Pineapples shall be my new band’s name. Or maybe Galvanized Metal Leaves.

So, can I use this to go off on a bit of a tangent?

This is like a Chuck Norris joke but funny

I loved Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas!

First off: MISSED YOU!!! So happy to see you. Second THANK YOU! OMG Happy porcupine noises are the funniest, cutest thing ever. Good boy Teddy. Plus watching porcupines chow down always reminds me of “Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas” and when they got the singing job at the endand they find out it includes dinner, Wen…

SQUEEEEE! I needed that, thanks Kelly.

The other day I saw gravity at Barnes & Noble looking for a book on Simone Biles.

So what I’m hearing is, she’s the long lost love child of T’Challa and Storm?

 I love her so much. Thanks for providing that slow motion version, because I could not understand what I was seeing, lol. 

THIS COMMENT HAS BREATHED NEW LIFE INTO MY YOUTH-SPORTS VIEWING.

Good thing for Simone that the rules don’t specify all competitors must be human.