They do make fake toenails! Just like acrylics for your fingers. You can get them at the drug store or a beauty supply store. They generally come in a french manicure but if you paint it a darker color it’ll at least look like you have a toenail and not a press-on where your toenail should be.

It’s fairly straightforward but generally that approach is viewed as “bitchy” to people that don’t use common sense.

Donovan, Matt Bomer’s character (I think)

I think Kathy Bates’s character is alive and she works at the hotel to “keep in touch” with her son who is a ghost.

Your beef stew looks good! And your group texts to family look about like mine do. I am the Pinterest recipe Guineau pig for my friends and I love slow cooker recipes because they are EASY AND FAST (to put together). No slow cooker recipe should take 45 minutes to prepare before it even hits the pot. You might as well…

In general, being stupid/dumb/uneducated doesn’t get you sent to prison. Making bad choices gets you sent to prison. I’m not at all surprised that the prison team out-debated the Harvard team.

One of the kids that lives next door to me is autistic. He’s a good kid and really funny. Sometimes he needs a little help navigating everyday circumstances, like coming over to pet my dogs, but he gets it. I can’t believe someone would try to “avoid” having an autistic child in favor of potentially exposing their…

It’s truly not the same going to a game without eat ‘em up Tigers guy being there

You should visit Detroit for a game sometime. Holy crap, you would not believe how many people still watch baseball.

So at my 20-person (total) wedding this weekend, 2 of my guests no-showed. They were acting funny the week of, and suggested the wife might not come because she might have to work. The day before, the husband texted my husband to say they weren’t coming. The wife texted me to say they weren’t coming because the…

True story. My pit can open doors so she just lets herself into whatever room she wants to find something to destroy or eat. She stopped binge eating when she was a puppy though. She dug her way into the side of a bag of dog food and ate until I thought she was going to pass away. She's cute so she gets a pass.

It’s not the whole point of a plea bargain but it would have helped in her situation. You have 2 options when it comes down to it- take a plea bargain or go to trial. I’m sure her lawyer thought they’d never be able to convict her, as those cases are a lot of times based on circumstantial evidence. But if all the…

If it’s any consolation, I always “try turning it off and turning it back on” before I call the help desk. I also always say that I tried that before they tell me to do that.

I picked the wrong salon for my wedding hair and makeup. I walked out looking like a goddamn clown and $180 poorer... And STILL had to do it myself.

You're gonna looooooove it!

I have like 4 bags inside the big bag to keep it “organized” (lololololol). Shit just floats around in there and accumulates anyway. If I need a smaller bag it's an event to switch them over.

All the things. I carry all the things in my overly-large purse, because something might happen and I might need something.

Most musicians don’t even know what to listen for when looking for someone who can sing, let alone someone just watching the show, so yeah... I agree with you.

Aw! Poor baby!!

I use 7 brushes. One is double-ended. 2 for eyeshadow (one with the double-end), 1 for foundation, 2 for eyebrows, 1 for blush, and a powder brush that I use for blending. I wash them every couple of weeks with some dish soap which doesn’t ruin them and gets all the gunk out. If I switch colors I swipe it a few times…