Shame

This is why we can't have nice things.

I plan on using all of those funky fresh moves at a wedding tomorrow.

I hope to get at least 20 or 30 more songs about Courtney Love's vagina.

I thought it said he ran out of solo dates.  I was like, aw poor guy, guess he'll have to go read some more pretentious books.

It's the bird man.  The fuckin' bird.

I find it hard to believe that at no point did Depp look in a mirror and think, "hey, I look like a total asshole."

Shhhh!  I'm trying to market those to nerds in Germany.

Fact: the first metro-sexual was a pirate.

I wish you'd take that green lightsaber of yours to the doctor.  A little penicillin will clear that right up.

Bloodsport is awesome, but Double Impact is the best.  C'mon people, there's two of them!  Plus you get amazing lines like, "take your fancy clothes and your black silk underwear and go back to Disneyland."

on proper enunciation?

[old man next to her farts]

No.  The greatest movie.

I'm thinking about starting up the "Advocates for the Advocates of Groups That Don't Want Humorless Jerks Sticking Up for Them" group.

Why don't you read between the lines and cut him up good?

Slash is going to "November Rain" on you for that one.  Hint: It's pee.

a bunch of retards got lost?

When does the hit Broadway musical open?

Yeezus.  I'm afraid to hear what you think of Chris Brown.