A.P.C.: Hey Kanye, T-shirt season is approaching, what would you like your shirt to look like?

I wrote a song last weekend called, "I fucked the night so hard in the butt that it lost it's sense of humor."  It's a country song.

Di-a-rhea

The syncopated guitar parts that he borrowed from Quincy Jones?  I love that shit.  This song is dope.

Thanks, I just had it stuffed.

Yeah, but you were doing Wild Wild West in black face.

I would luffa her stretch marks.

Coming this fall, Kirk really lets loose as Toots McGee.

Fact: He possessed the power of the glow.

Chutes and Ladder:

According to Netflix, I should get off my ass and exercise?  Netflix, you son of a bitch.

The first four songs are interesting.  The rest is awful.

Doing physics can be hellish enough.  Maybe hold off on The Haxan Cloak.

Unless your mom's vagina is there to catch you.

This album is ballsy.  It's like a giant middle finger to EDM bros.  

I'll wear my suit backwards at the funeral.

Okay fine, I'll do it. How many times? 14, 15?

I know a girl who referred to her ex-boyfriend's wang as a golf pencil.  Ouch.

When I woke up this morning my Vine account was shut down
A little man was banging on my door dressed up like a clown
His suit was all purple and there were sparkles everywhere
I couldn't stop laughing so sue me I don't even care

I hope your balls have a warning written on them.  This package contains
hazardous material.  Call a doctor if you ingest any of the contents.