Exactly how high are you right now?

DJ Khaled’s next tweet to The Rock:

Yeah, you should definitely go.... Don’t let the door hit you in the butt on your way out, either.

Obama, Where Art Thou?

No Country for Dumb and Dumber.

I would find that incredibly sad. It would mean the strong likelihood that you hit your wife mattered less than the fact your drug use might slow down production.

I’m expecting her to say that she and the producers are still comfortable sticking with him and that they are genuinely happy that Johnny went out with his bodyguards and enjoyed some beignets.

I love this so much.

This dude is the political equivalent of a Tinder date who won’t take the god damn hint after months of ghosting, isn’t he?

Hey Roy,

We’re not sure how to be more direct about this, but we’ll try again: We’re Not Interested. Period. Full stop. End of message.

Calling us whores, writing poorly-considered/spelled angry…

Ask a generous and trusted female friend to let you read some of her dating app messages and you will quickly see that most men do virtually no emotional labor. That’s why women are talking about this.

John Mulaney describing the Trump’s charade of a presidency as “ This Is A Horse Loose In A Hospital” is one of the best metaphors I’ve heard.

“But I will fight till the death for 90210. They tackled issues like addiction, abortion, suicide and other issues. It’s a drama and cheesy, yes, but they had a 90s frankness that I miss.”

It’s such an Andrea thing that she’s now SAG President.

Every political memoir is titled like it’s written by Sir Galahad or something. Drives me nuts.

It’s not about if the pee tape exists (it does). It’s aboutwill the pee tape come out

Congratulations on moving up, Tiffany!

He’s a shit person, what do you expect?

Counterpoint: It does. Unlike your comment.

Sure it does. It is a bit rounded and squishy of a point, but it is there if you pull the foreskin back.