I believe him. I’m sure there’s so much more to him, and his Nazi friends. [Opens leather medical bag.] I share with Nazis a love for the anatomical sciences, and [starts laying out instruments on metal tray] would love a chance to find out what issues—[sets autopsy organ scale on desk]—weigh heavily on these fellows’…

Pictured:

I don’t understand. I was informed Mexico will be paying for the wall.

I just can’t believe a person paid to be a horrible human being on camera turns out to be a horrible human being behind the camera as well.

engaging in emotionally abusive behavior toward hair and makeup artists and support staff.

Here’s the picture of enormous penis Donald Trump Jr. she was showing off around the office:

He was thinking with her picture of his dick.

“Pee Tape”

He could be economically anxious. Or part of America’s forgotten middle class. Maybe he’s a victim of the opiod crisis. Or involuntarily celibate. But really I’m sure he was polite to his neighbors and a fan of country music.

That’s why I don’t put my burger back in the wet spot...

santorum makes the worst stains 😂

Damn, they were accidently “fair and balanced” for half a second.

Prosperity gospel in a nutshell: It’s wrong when others do it because it’s sinful and against god’s will and law. It’s okay when we do it, because we are blessed by god.

“Damn, what a creep! I can’t believe anyone would let him be the face of their restaurant chain.” — Jared Fogel

a mismanaged business being led by an increasingly petty and vindictive Schnatter

His name is Rio, and he dances on the sand. 

That’s a pretty good description of what Trump is doing right now in the UK.

“Here I am a veteran of a thousand satire wars”

Stormy Daniels could come walking out of AF1 with her stilettos in one hand and a bottle of Scope in the other while Trump followed behind zipping up his fly. The right would praise him for “creating jobs”.