Hey, baby, take your clothes off and let me get a Pikachu.

Wow, so if your music is from the 70's and early 80's, they give you the same exact bands. What a joke.

Frank, this is Bob (Hitler), Sam (Hitler), Meg (Hitler), and Thomas (Hitler).

I think the smoking's a good guess, IMHO. Tobacco residue can certainly be yellow.

If my hard were that tall, I'd be proud.

OMG, this is the worst article ever! It's a sure sign our entire civilization is collapsing! It makes me what to run down the street screaming, puking on random people, and smashing cars with a hammer!

Someone needs to make a desktop version of that wallpaper! DROOL!

I think this guy had that down pat.

Don't tell the cops there's something black in the subway, they'll shoot it.

11. A helicopter is not a car.

The only way two people would end up in the same room is if they were exactly the same intelligence level. Otherwise, one would always leave.

Need some sound for the top one:

"The adage goes that if you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room."

I'm surprised Alex Jones doesn't claim to be able to understand them.

I just want something that will keep Notification Center open on screen all the time.

Maybe some plastic surgery instead?

We wouldn't have to worry about them competing with us in science.

iTunes. Read what it accomplished in its first month, compared to what came before.

True, but sales in general, along with coupons, etc., are designed to make you buy things you wouldn't normally buy. If you can resist that impulse, then you're ahead of the game.